Securely harnassed via tether to the chimney, I managed to melt a small section of ice completely out of the frozen-far-past-overflowing south gutter. Then, using a hammer and cold chisel, I cut and chipped out small sections o'ice for hours on end until the entire gutter was free!
~ Free free, free at last! ~ I thank God almighty I'm free at last! ~
Next fall, I might just wrap the top section of downspouts with heat-tape, which would have haffachance of preventing them dammnable ice damns.