What do you say to a guy who goes on and on and on ... ad nauseum ... about the fact that we (he and I) never spend time together anymore. How we really need to get together more often, etc., etc., etc. And then, when he knows you'll be in town for 4 days, and knows how to get in touch with you, when it's been made clear that all he has to do is pick up the phone and he absolutely agrees to call ... and doesn't.
I say you don't say a thing. Just move on and count yourself fortunate to have so easily identified someone who is, at best, an acquaintance.
If only I'd let it go years ago ... I've lost so much time over this guy.
Every time he has a problem, I'm the first to hear about it. And I spend hours on the phone - or face-to-face - talking with him, listening, etc. Every time he needs a shoulder, I'm the one he calls. Every time he needs anything, it's me.
And I have unconditionally been there for him. To the extent of opening my home to him, offering him room and board, feeding him, whatever the situation called for. I have always been there, regardless of the circumstances. I have actually lost favor with other people and countless opportunities, simply because I insisted on devotion to a friend.
But when it comes to just hanging out, being together, doing "friend" stuff, well ... he's got "family commitments", or "emergencies", or [insert convenient excuse here]. Oh sure, he can hang for an hour, if I'm willing to come pick him up. Nevermind that it'll take me 20 minutes to drive to his place ...
It took me until this weekend to really see it, but I'm nothing more than a convenience. And that kind of hurts. I always considered him a brother, but I guess it's my own damned fault.
I'll live.
Posted from exitwound.org, comment here.
