Open Source Bridge requested that I improve my bio, so I decided to share some facts about myself...
Schwern has a copy of Perl 6, he lets Larry Wall borrow it and take notes.
Schwern once sneezed into a microphone and the text-to-speech conversion was a regex that turns crap into gold.
Damian Conway and Schwern once had an arm wrestling contest. The superposition still hasnââ¬â¢t collapsed.
Schwern was the keynote speaker at the first YAPC::Mars.
When Schwern runs a smoke test, the fire department is notified.
Dan Brown analyzed a JAPH Schwern wrote and discovered it contained the Bible.
Schwern writes Perl code that writes Makefiles that write shell scripts on VMS.
Schwern does not commit to master, master commits to Schwern.
SETI broadcast some of Schwernââ¬â¢s Perl code into space. 8 years later they got a reply thanking them for the improved hyper drive plans.
Schwern once accidentally typed ââ¬Ågit pull ââ¬âhardââ¬Â and dragged Githubââ¬â¢s server room 10 miles.
There are no free namespaces on CPAN, there are just modules Schwern has not written yet.
Perl's threads are implemented with a single strand of Schwern's hair.
"Schwern" cmp "Chuck Norris" will cause Perl to segfault rather than try to compare them.
Schwernââ¬â¢s tears are said to cure cancer, unfortunately his Perl code gives it right back.
That reminds me of your Perl book reviewing technique. If the bullet stops in the middle of the book, the book is too long.
Based on this photo:
Everyday I get up and pray to Schwern
And he increases the number of refs by exactly one
Everybody's coming to YAPC::NA these days
Last night there were perl hackers on my lawn
CHORUS:
Take the perl-heads bowling, take them bowling.
Take the perl-heads bowling, take them bowling.
Some people say that bowling alleys have len(@lanes) < $small (have big lanes x2)
Some people say that bowling alleys all eq $the_same (all the same x2)
There's not a line that goes here that soundex_match($line, 'same') (rhymes with same x2)
Had a dream last night but I forgot what delete $dream{about} (what it was x2)
goto CHORUS;
Had a dream last night about use strict and warnings
Had a dream I wanted to sleep() next to plastic
Had a dream I wanted to bless your hashref
Had a dream it was about undef
(copied from my perlmonks profile)
Re:I wrote a song parody about this once...
Theory on 2010-03-31T19:00:10
Oh, please post that in the comments on Flickr!
--Theory
Re:"VMS shell scripts"
craigb on 2010-04-04T04:26:53
On VMS they are called "command procedures", not "shell scripts".
Well yes, and they are called description files not Makefiles, but nomenclature aside, this is the one item on the list whose veracity I can vouch for -- the rest are just rumors
:-).
