Sometimes, when I start hanging out in a new IRC channel, or spend some time with programmers I've only talked to on mailing lists, I hear people make new cutting remarks about other widely respected programmers. Often, the new group will have some well-established group opinion about someone I respect, and that opinion will not be entirely flattering. This is always a strange experience. I'm usually a bit put off by nasty talk about anybody, especially people whose work I respect. Then again, the criticism is often reasoned and makes me see people in a new light that helps me more critically assess their work and their claims.
So, apart from the sort of general "don't be a jerk" advice that more people should take more often (see Ovid's recent blog post), what I take away from this experience is the lurking suspicion that somewhere there is a clique of people who think that I suck. Of course, they might be right! I just wish they'd tell me. After all, if all correct and potentially constructive criticism is kept secret, people aren't likely to improve.
So, it's okay. If I suck, you can tell me. Preferably, though, not by pointing me at the blog post you've just written on the subject.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous, pervert!!!
Re:Always a classic...
Relipuj on 2008-08-14T01:21:20
> Sometimes, when I start hanging out in a new IRC channel, or spend some time
> with programmers I've only talked to on mailing lists, I hear people make new
> cutting remarks about other widely respected programmers.
It's not "Sometimes", consider it to be ALWAYS the case.
> I'm usually a bit put off by nasty talk about anybody, especially people whose
> work I respect.
Same here. But it's probably because i'm too gentle. Here, we say: "Trop Bon, Trop Con!", which means (more or less) "Too gentle, Too Stupid!".
> Then again, the criticism is often reasoned and makes me see people in a new
> light that helps me more critically assess their work and their claims.
Wouldn't you find it strange if someone didnt have any defects, flaws, faille?
We're all humans, and it's a by-design feature not to be perfect. And "Sometimes" to be jealous, envious, mischievous. It's just one of our tool to have more sex, perhaps?
> So, apart from the sort of general "don't be a jerk" advice that more people
> should take more often (see Ovid's recent blog post), what I take away from this
> experience is the lurking suspicion that somewhere there is a clique of people
> who think that I suck. Of course, they might be right!
They think it, you think it, and what the fuck? Who cares if you suck? Stay yourself, if you feel great that way... "Sometimes" it's better to be an annoying someone and be someone helping, than being a loved one, that just screw up everything.
> I just wish they'd tell me. After all, if all correct and potentially
> constructive criticism is kept secret, people aren't likely to improve.
Peoples talking on your back don't want you to improve. They want other peoples to like them because they're able to spot your weak spots, and they think they're more valuable than you just for that. They're generally not worth it. Peoples that love you, will do talk to you. Listen to those who look about you. For the rest, just don't care, don't mind, don't even give a shit about those (sorry for the language).
> So, it's okay. If I suck, you can tell me. Preferably, though, not by pointing
> me at the blog post you've just written on the subject.
You dont suck.
Be Well.
Relipuj
you're just different.
I do find you pretty abrasive on IRC, though. You're obviously very talented and smart, but you lack patience to deal with those of us who are less talented/smart. And when you lose your patience, you do come off as a jerk.
Since you wish for openness, I'm taking that as an approval to publish a snippet of our conversation, where we had a disagreement about normalization:
15:46 <Purdy> but no one uses WHERE
15:46 <Purdy> it's not supported in the current SQLite
15:46 <rjbs>...
15:46 <rjbs> are you fucking on drugs?
15:46 <rjbs> SQLite supports WHERE.
15:46 <Purdy> i'm not saying that
15:46 <Purdy> i'm saying there are only two testing methods
15:46 <Purdy> emails() and clear()
15:46 <rjbs> The code you're looking at is code that ONLY DELIVERS.
15:46 <Purdy> right
15:46 <Purdy> Send/Sender
15:46 <rjbs> The code to get data OUT of the SQLite database is not in there.
15:47 <rjbs> So saying "it can't use WHERE" is ridiculous
I think some of the issue lies in the your "operating frequency" (typing speed, thinking speed, etc) being exponentially higher than mine. I suggest, though, that you could be more accommodating towards others.
Now let me go write this up in my blog!
I know a lot of people think I'm an asshole, or a jerk, or an incompetent boob. I had this conversation at work last week. Someone got pissed at me and claimed that others were too. My response was "if those people aren't willing to talk to me about whatever issue they have, I don't give a shit about it because I have no idea what that issue *is*". You're a generally great guy and, if there is some cult of "rjbs sucks" people, let me know and I shall silence them. I, on the other hand, have no doubt in my mind that I have a cult of haters and have to deal with it in my own special way.
(you were also once very aggressive towards me on IRC; but, to your credit, at least you didn't k-line me when I insulted you)
