I spent today running through a lot of the non-rjbs Perl code with Jay, today. Mostly we looked at huge, scary programs written by and for the engineers, and also at the mostly sane characterization code. My belief now is that the Perl I wrote will be discarded or replaced with VB and Access. I think this may well be good for IQE. They can be one big happy Microsoft family, and they can quickly implement good-enough solutions that they'll never need to extend in the ways they previously demanded.
Honestly, I think the best thing for them is me leaving. I'm so burned out, there.
I've felt really really burned out in general, actually. I tried to hyper-relax last weekend and this weekend, neither time to much avail. In fact, this weekend my inability to really relax started to make me feel edgy and weird. Sunday, we headed out to Newark to get Jay from the airport. We stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way, which was good (but not great). I guess I mentioned this already, yesterday.
Anyway, tonight I thought I'd try to get some reading done in Network Programming with Perl, and I just found myself staring at the screen, feeling really, really useless. This feeling was nearly bordering on panic: "What if I get to my new job and can't perform? What if I just stare at my monitor?"
Gloria went out to get some dark chocolate M&Ms, and I went for my last resort plan: I asked her to get me some soda. I've been basically avoiding caffeine since Februrary, with a few exceptions here and there. It wasn't really bothering me, but I felt like maybe it would help me clear my head. I think it really has!
She got a twelve-pack of diet Pepsi with lime, which is pretty good. This is despite my renewed intent to boycott Pepsi. I will look for a less evil source of caffeine in the future, but something important was at stake here! I really do feel like my mind is cleared a bit, although I can't say for sure that it's caffeine-related. Maybe time will tell, along with the consumption of ten more cans of diet Pepsi with lime.
The dark chocolate peanut M&Ms were OK.
Re:drinking soda to avoid depression
rjbs on 2005-05-10T10:40:48
Yeah, I think it's sort of pathetic (and mildly scary) to have my moods ruled by my dietary choices. I'd like to be happy and productive without needing caffeine, but if it's a choice between (drinking tea and soda now and then) and (feeling weird and getting nothing done), I think the choice is clear.
You're not the only one to have thoughts like that, but you'll do fine
And if you don't... you can always get back to caffeine
Re:If it were me....
chaoticset on 2005-05-10T17:58:11
My stress melts away if I work on writing fiction. Unfortunately, with my schedule and my life being like an excited gas -- energetic, but in too many directions -- I haven't been able to work reliably on fiction.It'd be nice if I could; I might be able to calm down and be more productive in other things while at the same time getting another book done.
:)
Yeah, I've been there too. You're probably right.Honestly, I think the best thing for them is me leaving. I'm so burned out, there.
Realistically, no company should attempt to create solutions it cannot maintain itself. Perl, while a wonderful both as a language and a culture, is clearly out of the mainstream. And there are oodles of companies out there that want to focus on widgets and internal procedures, not the latest fads in programming. Any language will suffice, so it's better to choose a language that any programmer can hack. Sure, it may be really crappy software, but if it works well enough, who are we to complain?
Sounds like the best thing for both of you is your leaving; you can focus on the kinds of skills and software you'd rather develop, and they can get the mundane systems they need.
I don't say this to put down either you or your (former) shop; this state of affairs is common throughout the industry. It's the same reason why cracker jack assembly hackers and compiler designers don't write accounting systems, either.
Tea!I will look for a less evil source of caffeine in the future, but something important was at stake here! I really do feel like my mind is cleared a bit, although I can't say for sure that it's caffeine-related.
There's a wonderous variety of vendors, flavors and styles available. Just step away from the teabags they sell in the supermarket and find yourself a good oriental grocer or tea shop (either down the road or on the net). Even with overpriced tea, I can get a month's worth of tea out of a week's worth of visits to Starbucks or the soda machine. And you can pretty much pick your desired caffeine level.
Re:Perl and Caffeine
rjbs on 2005-05-10T14:27:30
> Tea!
Yeah, there's a wonderful coffee and tea shop just down the street from us. Here's a plug, for those of you planning on visiting Bethlehem: It's called "Oh, Alan" and it's in the old Woolworth building on Main Street between Broad and Market.
I really do enjoy tea, especially darjeeling. He also has a really nice dessert tea called "chocolatea." The thing is that teas sometimes make me feel more thirsty than I was. I suppose I could drink more water, but more tea and more water means I'll be spending a lot of time disposing of fluids.
Any suggestions, though, for teas that I can drink throughout the day without sugar? (I'm a notorious tea-sugarer.)Re:Perl and Caffeine
ziggy on 2005-05-10T15:16:30
Hm. A nice pot of iced Moroccan Mint tea would be good. It's a standard blend of green tea and spearmint that's fine straight. Not sweet, but not bland like a pot of chilled hot water.;-) For something suitable for drinking all day long, you may want to start with some fruity teas, at least long enough to get your palate adjusted from drinking Pepsi. The Republic of Tea is way on the overpriced yuppie side of the trade, but they do have some nice blends (both loose and in round bags). But it's a very affordable luxury, even if you go overboard and buy half a dozen tins of tea.
;-) Available nearly everywhere. Tazo is probably just as good, but I'd rather not give Starbucks my tea money.
;-) After you develop a palate, you'll probably find a family of tea that you like more than others, and a preferred set of vendors. I'm a big fan of darjeeling too, and my favorite tea shop has ~6 different estate darjeelings to choose from. But sometimes I'll just go with a decent tin of darjeeling from some vendor I trust.
I'm not a biochemist, but that's probably from the astringency of the tea. There are a couple of things you can do with that -- drink less astringent tea (darjeeling instead of assam, green instead of black), or don't brew it as strong.The thing is that teas sometimes make me feel more thirsty than I was. I suppose I could drink more water, but more tea and more water means I'll be spending a lot of time disposing of fluids.But don't take my word for that though, I just pulled that out of thin air.
;-)
