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motivation appraoches the limit zero

rjbs on 2004-11-09T15:54:27

I get to work and stare at my whiteboard, index cards, and screen. If I turned on cursor blinking in Vim, I'd become hypnotized and sit transfixed until my phone rang. I'm not sure what's happening. I think that it's a combination of a lot of things. I feel like the systems I'm working on are destined to be eternally unreleased, remaining forever in the ivory tower, which is exactly what I don't want. I know that's not the plan, but it's how it feels, lately. I've been working on the same project for months, and with no real back and forth with the users. They green light just about everything, which isn't a lot of fun. I want an exchange of ideas, and a challenge.

The recent visit of a co-worker from the UK didn't fill me with enthusiasm, either. We didn't get as much done as I'd have liked, and now he's back to working on things that don't affect me. I don't feel like I'm doing any good, really, and I feel like nobody's too interested in doing good.

Today I was told to reboot two of my machines because their uptime was too high.

ABE.pm didn't meet yesterday. Excluding the one-on-one Phil and I had last month, that's eight months with no meeting. I'm pretty close to just calling it quits, which I don't want to do. I've asked the local LUG list whether it would be more interesting if we tried to be a more ecumenical "dynamic languages" group. I'm happy to talk about Python and Ruby. I just need people to talk to! I want to draw diagrams and run SubEthaEdit and yell about design and brace placement and tab width, and I want to feel like part of a team that's working together on something.

I have a vacation in about two weeks. I hope it helps.

What about a conference?

cog on 2004-11-09T16:00:03

Try going to a conference! It usually helps me :-)

Re:What about a conference?

rjbs on 2004-11-09T16:48:51

Yeah, that'd be great, if only there was one very nearby and very soon. ;) I love OSCON and YAPC. (I hope I can get to Europe in 2005!) I always thought the user groups could be like nice miniature conferences, but that only happens if the groups meet! ;)

Re:What about a conference?

cog on 2004-11-09T16:55:58

I love OSCON and YAPC.

Never been to an OSCON, but loved last YAPC.

(I hope I can get to Europe in 2005!)

I hope that too :-) It would be great to have people there :-)

I always thought the user groups could be like nice miniature conferences, but that only happens if the groups meet! ;)

Tell me about it...

me too

link on 2004-11-09T20:46:15

Strangely my motivation is also approaching zero. The last 3 projects I have written code for have been either cancelled or delayed. The 2 before that made it to production but have never been used. Much of the stuff for the year/18 months before that is being redeveloped slowly,with less features and at (I think)higher costs by development teams in the US.
Not sure why I'm still here really apart from the fact I really like a lot of people I work with and we seem to get payed above average(sure money doesn't matter but its hard to motivate myself enough to move to less money).

If at all possible convince your manager to set some time aside to create tools.Working on stuff you personally initiate is a lot more satisfying and if it does nothing else you usually
end up with something that make the rest of you project easier.

Maybe we can meet up at YAPC::EU::2005 and trade demotivational stories :)