An overwhelming feeling of restlessness has come over me. My intense hubris has returned, telling me that I need to find a "real programming job," that I'm wasting away here, surrounded by mediocrity. What a bunch of crap.
Although my hubris is persistent, and let me tell you, it's intense, I can't figure out why I'm restless. I'm in a place that is giving me a ton of freedom and training. I learn new things almost daily (which isn't saying much, since I don't know much). I can pretty much chart my own course.
I guess I just feel like there is no one else around me who is as interested (OK, sometimes obsessed) with programming as I am. The books I've read lately have been awesome, and there are a dozen more waiting in the wings. I get so excited about what I'm reading, but I don't feel like there's anyone who shares that excitement as I do.
I just finished Perl for System Administration and I am currently in the midst of The Psychology of Computer Programming. I can't decide what to read next, The Design of Everyday Things, Programming Applications for Netscape Servers, or Practical UNIX and Internet Security.
I guess this restlessness stems from this undying desire inside me to catch up, to learn more, to make up for all the years I wasn't programming. I wonder if I'll ever feel like I've officially caught up. Probably not.
