I think there's some terrible conspiracy which, in a few weeks or months, will undoubtedly take over the world. The people in this elite band are highly skilled, but -- as you'd expect from those wishing to dominate the earth -- entirely without qualms. I know very little about this band of plotters. In fact, I know only that they're up to something. I only know that because the voices in the Fruit Pastels told me so. They communicate, you see, and probably beam messages into your mind, through the medium of rolls of Fruit Pastels. The messages are encoded in the ordering of the individual sweets. Just today they said "GGOOBRGOGBOOOG". If that doesn't convince you that I'm right, nothing will.
The sinister state of the world today...
