Cooking the Books

djberg96 on 2002-03-01T03:45:29

Oh, did we have a doozy of an all-employee meeting today. This is effing hilarious.

The brilliant leadership at company "X" which starts with a 'Q' and rhymes with 'west' have made it a goal to double the average revenue per employee over the next quarter. Sounds like a noble goal, right?

It is, right up until the part where they tell you just *how* they plan on accomplishing their goal. They're going to "outsource" 500 employees in IT.

Now, you may ask, "How will the company save money if it outsources 500 jobs? Don't contractors always cost more money?". Normally, they would. However, company "X" is going to force those 500 employees to become contractors! That, or you'll have to quit.

Isn't that marvelous? Not only can they cook the books by re-categorizing their employees as contractors (thus doubling the revenue *per employee*), they won't have to pay out severence packages since they won't technically be employees any more. Your only other option is to quit.

In the words of Private Hudson, "How do I get out of this chicken-shit outfit?".

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Are you...

vek on 2002-03-01T05:32:39

...one of the 500??

Re:Are you...

djberg96 on 2002-03-01T13:31:44

Dunno yet. We won't know until the end of the month. Odds are probably "no", but we'll see. I've been thinking of moving for a while, so this is as good a time as any to do it.

We must also post an updated resume' somewhere and do some core competency testing if we want to stick around. Testing might be a good idea, if the test methodology wasn't so lame.

Also, they're not taking volunteers for severance packages. Apparently, they're afraid that the employees they want to keep will leave and the ones they want to leave will stay. They're probably right. I know I'd take it.

Sorta makes sense, sorta doesn't

ziggy on 2002-03-01T14:47:37

From the company's side, I can see the argument. IT employees are some of the most variable and required commodities in a company. Once you hire a bad employee, it's difficult to get them to leave. And the good employees tend to last 18 months or less in the industry in general, so why take on the cost to make them employees (education, sending them to conferences) if they leave anyway?

But it's also an Enronesque way to cook the books to make the company prettier. Sounds like it could be a violation of some labor laws too -- what happens to the employees that are being shortchanged out of stock options and other such benefits? IANAL, but if this bookeeping change does come to pass, I wouldn't be surprised to hear about a class action lawsuit in the next 18 months as a result.