All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

One AxKit Song

darobin on 2001-12-05T16:58:26

I wrote this before I started using my journal, otherwise it would have been here to boot. I'm copying it here so that 1) it doesn't stay in an obscure site on the net and 2) anyone doubting my sanity may have proofs readily available.

The AxKit Has Been Drinking
---------------------------
(to the tune of Tom Waits' _The Piano Has Been Drinking_)


The AxKit has been drinking
My mod_perl is asleep
And the segfaults went back to New York
XSP has to make a leak
And the config needs a haircut
And the DOM tree looks like it might break
Cause TLH's out of cigarettes
And have_lib is on the make
And my AxKit has been drinking
My AxKit has been drinking

And the ASPs are all freezing
And the CGI's blind in one eye
And you can't template the other
And Blueberry's got encoding aide
And strings are just so '90s
And my AxKit has been drinking
My AxKit has been drinking

Cause XML's like a sumo wrestler
Pointy brackets french roast
And XSL's cool for widgets
With the params of a form post
Cause my AxKit has been drinking
My AxKit has been drinking

And you can't find your baudster
With a comment counter
And he XPathes you and your friends
And pages just can't get served
Without him

And the office box is drooling
And the benchmarks are on fire
And schemata are pluraling
And the transforms have recursed
And my AxKit has been drinking
My AxKit has been drinking
My AxKit has been drinking
Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me.

See ? AxKit is so mindnumbingly cool that it even has a song :)

You know...

hfb on 2001-12-05T22:24:39

Depending on your regional american accent....it might sound like 'my ass kits been drinkin' or maybe 'my ass skits ben drinkin'

I thought AxKit was supposed to make you bouncy and happy...not hunched over your beer at the bar in a smoky dive :) Rewrite it to 'Warm Beer, Cold Women' :)

Re:You know...

darobin on 2001-12-06T17:23:05

I guess I'm glad I don't have an american accent then, and I'll have to be cautious on my next world tour.

As for what AxKit does to me, it does make me "bouncy and happy". It's just that my idea of being bouncy and happy is to be hugging a warm beer in a smoky, ugly, evil dive :) AxKit did that *a*lot* to me last summer.