Captain, I am a fool. I have been whinging about door-this and door-that, and the solution was practically staring me in the face all this time.
Get a door-return spring. Cheap but (hopefully) effective ones come from Wally-World for around US$4.
It has occurred to me that I could do some major financial wrangling with the US$3000 that's coming to me at the end of the semester. First thought: Fair-quality digital video camera, so I can shoot my dumb little film ideas. Second thought: CDs.
We'll see. Three months between then and now; plenty of time to find out about bizarre financial thingies. (Or cool-ass digital video thingies.)
Began coding the remove-sub, but kind of lost track of where it was going. I'll finish it tomorrow. Noticed some big-ass holes in the way I'm dealing with the critical inventory data; confirmed my worst suspicion while concepting code (which is that I need to merge the costlist and control files), and threw the idea around that I could figure out a way to process JPG files of inventory, so I wouldn't have to type all 1000 cards in.
That's a lot for one paragraph. Good thing I'm going to sleep now.