I fiddled around and have a param() + grep solution in place. Run the script: I get my little debug outputs to see where the data is, but again, the script seems to drop everything when it hits the sub for showing the search results, debug outputs and regular outputs and all.
A little voice in the back of my head says, "But it should at least show the prints that state what sub it is...unless the sub isn't being called at all."
I was never calling the sub.
I keep forgetting that my printed copy of the code was at a point where I was *about* to implement the param() + grep solution, so I had removed several sub calls and such.
Chalk another one up to experience and better commenting; I stripped them all out for the printed copy, so now I'm going to have to stick some back in when I figure certain things (like *this*) out.