Okay. I spent a few days away from the issue to deal with various problems and have come back with a fresh look and a renewed vigor to get MUCH fucking better at programming in order to get a MUCH more interesting job.
Which is to say, desperation extreme, but no lack of energy to deal with the problem.
Diagrams helped me a lot here, just simple little ovals of incoming data and simple little ovals of outgoing data. Now that I know what subs I need, what they're all supposed to do, and what kinds of transformations they'll perform, plus I got the math model figured out while getting out of the car to go into a Super Wal-Mart (uninteresting and short story), so I think I'm cool as school and ready to kick some ass here.
I am prepared. I am armed. I am dangerous.
I am ready to parse.