I banged my head against this whole thing for a while but have finally thrown my hands up and posted on perlmonks.
I'm sure someone else knows the answer, and I'm not finding it fast enough, so I'll defer to superior knowledge.
I can't get more time with the computer for a while today; my SO's rightfully claimed several hours after she gets home. Time to lay back and flowchart it all again.
Hopefully, once my actual-programmer buddy out in CA is speaking to me again, my thought processes will become clear and fast-running as they once were.
After the SO finishes up I plan to parse monks, root through my code, and cobble the solution together. I put that around midnight.
