The weirdest spam ever

bart on 2003-07-28T09:26:46

I just got this message in my mail this morning. I call it spam because it apparently used spam techniques to distribute it, with a mangled subject line, and being sent as bulk mail to countless recipients. The contents itself is too strange for words. I reproduce it here as a whole.

Subject: Dimensional Warp Generator Needed ork uw g xmufucpebz
From: "" <adm@chiche.com>
Date: Mon, 28 Jul 03 10:04:05 GMT

Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:
I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

Please transport unit in either a large brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Monday July 28th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me. Twenty-three inches in from the outside edge of the corner at the South West Corner of Cummings Ave. & Village Street in Woburn, Mass. is at Latitude 42.4845467 & Longitude -71.1576157 and the ground is 101.3' above sea level.

WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!! (NOBODY HAS BEEN ABLE TO TRANSPORT ANYTHING SO FAR WITHOUT THE TRANSFER BEING DEFLECTED). I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now.

After unit has been sent please email me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.

Thank You

thunder
vckt qnl

That's less than a day time to arrange the delivery. Amazing.


I bet

jordan on 2003-07-28T21:38:08

they are harvesting working email addresses. If you reply, you get put into their DB and sold as a "validated" address.

Re:I bet

bart on 2003-07-29T14:11:45

What kind of addresses would that be? Of, in X-Files speak, "believers"?

I'm not convinced... It looks to me you have to contact them after you delivered the goods.

Anyway, time's up... I wonder if the guy got what he wanted. :)

Re:I bet

jordan on 2003-08-01T21:52:49

I don't believe they are for real in any way.

I think they are just so bizarre as to elicit SOME response from you and then, they got a validated address.