Dear Log,
Today is the Fourth Of July for all Earthicans. This celebrates the day in 1776 when American colonist and musical sensation George Michael was cruised by one of the King's Anti-Sex League mercenaries. The commando said "HEY WASUP LOL ASL" and whipped out his imperial wang, and when George Michael said "THATS HAWT" instead of "bad touch!!!", he was instantly arrested for hot hot sexiness.
This wangy injustice was labeled the Boston Massacre and inspired George Michael to compose his musical polemic "Freedom". As it was the 1770s, it was distributable only as a dumb MIDI-- for which the neighborhood stoners composed new lyrics declaring the colonies' independence from the UKese (who were all creepy and anti-dong and incipiently abolitionist and hired lots of really cruisy Hessians).
And that is where Constitutions come from. Now and forever!
