Dear Log,
(defun psychoanalyze-leisuretown ()
"Leisuretown goes to the analyst."
; Press control-g to abort it whenever.
(interactive)
(require 'yow)
(let ((yow-file (expand-file-name
(substitute-in-file-name
"~$LOGNAME/wherever/leisuretown.lines"
))))
(psychoanalyze-pinhead)))
(psychoanalyze-leisuretown)
I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice.
WITHOUT ME, THE INSTALLER DISKETTES WOULD JUST GO UNLABELED
Why do you say that?
I'D RATHER BE SAILING!!! *BONK* OW glub glub
I don't understand.
PLEASE HELP THIS BANNER AD STANDARDIZE A FAILED CONCEPT
Maybe your plans have something to do with this.
BUG #39439: MY DONG IS CAUGHT IN A WINE BOTTLE!!! NOT A JOKE
Do you drink a lot of wine?
I SURE AM COZY UNDER THESE BLANKETS!!! OH GOD A SPIDER *BONK* OW JESUS I THINK ELLEN SHOULD GET ALZHEIMER'S AND "COME OUT" IN EVERY EPISODE
Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?
Warm hearted Christian man with values seeks chubby-cheeked pre-teen dicks ($$$)
Are you afraid of sex?
*POOF* MAGICALLY I TRANSFORM MYSELF INTO SOMETHING AMUSING
What makes you believe *poof magically you transform yourself into something amusing?
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How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?
I THINK ELLEN SHOULD GET ALZHEIMER'S AND "COME OUT" IN EVERY EPISODE
Have you been frightened by that?
SOMEONE PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME
Is it because of problems at school that you say someone pay attention to you?
I WOULD LIKE TO CHOOSE STOP FROM THE BLOWJOB MENU
Are you sure that you might want to choose?
IT'S NO COINCIDENCE THAT STONER RHYMES WITH LONER RHYMES WITH BONER
Is it because stoner rhymes with loner rhymes with boner that you came to me?
THAT'S OKAY SOMETIMES IT HAPPENS AND WE CAN TRY AGAIN IN A FEW MINUTES etc.
Perhaps this has something to do with any hobbies you have?
*SIGH* PLEASE STOP FOLLOWING ME DOWN THE HALLWAY ASKING QUESTIONS YOU STUPID TOOL
Do you really think that?
I THINK ELLEN SHOULD GET ALZHEIMER'S AND "COME OUT" IN EVERY EPISODE
Earlier you said you would like to choose?
THAT IS NOT THE SORT OF LANGUAGE I EXPECT FROM A WEB DEVELOPER
Does it bother you that is not the sort of language you expect from a web developer?
URGENT!! CLICK HERE FOR SPECIAL OFFERS AND oh fuck it already
Tell me about something about your sexual history.
"FAGGOT" CAN ALSO MEAN A TIGHTLY-WRAPPED BUNDLE OF DICKS!!! I MEAN STICKS
I would appreciate it if you would talk about your sex life...
HELP STARVING CHILDREN MAKE CLOTHES AND HATS FROM CONSTRUCTION PAPER
Possibly your sex life are related to this.
FOLKS: I AM A ***PERSON*** WITH ***FEELINGS***
What makes you think folks you are a person with feelings?
PRETEND I'M PAUL FROM THE DIAMOND CENTER AND YOU NEED CREDIT
You mentioned that stoner rhymes with loner rhymes with boner?
KBHK 11:00am: Jerry Springer. Scheduled: people with problems. (Cc, Stereo)
Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all this?
CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE ELITE UNDERGROUND MONEY SPENDING WEBRING
I don't understand.
WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS DOPE MY STONISH MOCKERY???
When did you first know that must me always dope your stonish mockery?
I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL 2086 WHEN THE MARS ROBOT COMES BACK WITH ROCKS!!!
What happened when 2086 when the mars robot comes back with rocks?
***FREE*** EMAIL!!!!! IT CANNOT BE!!!! CLICKING HERE EVEN THOUGH IT'S A TRAP
Why do you say you would like to choose?
AT THE VERY LEAST I HAVE MY BLOG TO FALL BACK ON
How do you reconcile your inhibitions?
PRETEND I'M PAUL FROM THE DIAMOND CENTER AND YOU NEED CREDIT
Maybe this is related to some problems in your childhood?
PSST: WHEN THE SPACE SHUTTLE RETURNS WE SHOULD ALL DRESS IN APE SUITS
What would happen if the space shuttle returns you should all dress in ape suits?
I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING COOL ABOUT PUNCHING CHILDREN OR THE ELDERLY
Earlier you said is not the sort of language you expect from a web developer?
Ladies: CLICK HERE to download free chocolate and coupons!
Perhaps some problems at home could have caused this.
ENROLL NOW: THE DICKLICKING FINISHING SCHOOL OF DUMBFUCK, COCKSUCKERSVILLE
Discuss your school.
SAY THE PHRASE "LINUX DISK IMAGES" AND SEE HOW LONG I STAY AWAKE
Is the fact that long you stay awake the real reason?
LICK THE DICK AND WIN 20 DOLLARS!!!
Tell me more about your feelings about your sexual partner.
I BUILT A CONTENT PUBLISHING SYSTEM OUT OF TOILET PAPER! (COME LOOK)
Have you been scared of that?
HELP STARVING CHILDREN MAKE CLOTHES AND HATS FROM CONSTRUCTION PAPER
You mentioned that stoner rhymes with loner rhymes with boner?
UPDATE: CHRISTOPHER REEVE PUSHES HEALTH INSURANCE REFORM (WITH HIS NOSE)
Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?
OKAY I HAVE TO ASK MY MANAGER FOR HELP WITH THE BADGE-SWIPER THING
What makes you believe that?
THIS LOOKS MORE LIKE THE UNDERSIDE OF A TOILET AND LESS LIKE MACWORLD EXPO
Are you sure that must me always dope your stonish mockery?
I BUILT A CONTENT PUBLISHING SYSTEM OUT OF TOILET PAPER! (COME LOOK)
How do you reconcile your life?
STOP PULLING MY PIGTAILS
My secretary will send you a bill.
IF I LISTEN TO THE SAME BANANARAMA SONG TWO HUNDRED TIMES IN A ROW, I GET SICK OF IT
I don't understand.
INSTANT RHYMING DICTIONARY: FORK SPORK DORK BJORK
Earlier you said you would like to choose?
I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT AN UNLICKED DICK IN THE NORTHWEST CORNER OF MY PANTS
How does it feel to want?
WHAT WOULD BE FUNNY WOULD BE TO REGISTER BONERS.COM
Possibly this could be the reason for the people you hang around with?
WHY YES!!! I'D LOVE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR FANTASY BASKETBALL TEAM!!!
Does the fact that yes you would love to learn more about my fantasy basketball team explain anything else?
IF YOU THROW OUT ALL THE G'S HIS NAME IS SNOOP DOY DO
Maybe problems at school could be the reason for this.
Help save our oceans by removing the sea sponges soaking it all up!
You mentioned that is not the sort of language you expect from a web developer?
GALS: I JUST TOOK A DATE-RAPE DRUG AND I'LL BE OUTSIDE ASLEEP ON THE LAWN
Elaborate on your most vivid sexual experience.
I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES SO I JUST MADE YOUR HORN HONK LOUDER
Is it because of any hobbies you have that you are going through all this?
HEY: HOW DOES A CAT SUCK COCK???? WITH ITS *****MEOWTH*****
Are you sure does a cat suck cock with its meowth?
COLUMBINE? MORE LIKE COLUMBONG!!! hglbhlgbhglbhglbhth * COUGH * SPLUTTER *
Is it because of your sex life that you say columbine more like columbong hglbhlgbhglbhglbhth cough splutter?
ONLINE GAMBLING - CLICK HERE TO SUCK OUR DICKS FOREVER - VISA/MC/AMEX
Have you been satisfied with your partner... ?
WIGGLE YOUR TOE!!! WIGGLE YOUR TOE!!! CHRIST JESUS MOM: SHUT UP
Do you really think long you stay awake?
FOLKS I'M HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK: HURRRRFFFF HUHHHH glklth
How do you reconcile hangups you have?
HEY EVERYONE: LET'S HOP ABOARD THE BIG PORNOGRAPHY VAN TO MEXICO
Have you been afraid of that?
THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH HUMOR AT THE EXPENSE OF PEOPLE WITH TESTICULAR CANCER
