Dial-up is too slow, so I was looking into high-speed options. Due to some wiring issues in my apartment, a cable modem was not a possibility. Unfortunately, the only DSL option was through MSN and my local telephone service, Qwest. Qwest is legendary for their screw-ups, so when things got screwed up I wasn't surprised, but I still don't know where the error occurred.
I ordered my DSL last year, but requested that I keep my current ISP. When my ISP tried to activate my DSL, they informed me that they couldn't because Qwest had listed themselves as my ISP. I've had so many bad experiences with Qwest that I just said "screw it" and cancelled the order.
Several months later, I see that my phone bill now has an extra $50.00 a month on it for "MSN Online Access". I figured that Qwest had screwed up, so I called them to get it sorted out. They informed me that they had nothing to do with the problem and transferred me to MSN. Not wanting to keep pushing various menu numbers until I drilled down to the right department (who would transfer me anyway), I waited until the voice on the phone said "If you have a rotary phone, please hold until an operator is available." I held and another voice said "We did not detect any keypresses. If you have a dial-up account, press 1. If you have ..."
Wait a minute, if I have a rotary phone, I get directed back to the touch-tone phone menu?
Okay, so I play their game, press all the numbers, finally get the correct department, only to be informed that they can't help me because my name is not on my account. AAARRGGHH!!! We worked out a deal where I fax in my bill with the incorrect name (no, my first name is not Shirley) and they'll clear the bill. Of course, there is no confirmation process, so I need to keep calling them back to ensure that they finally get it right.
Of course, I think I'm just cursed. A couple of years ago, I was turned down for an apartment due to "bad credit". What? I checked my credit report and found out that my ex-wife racked up some bills in my name and never paid for them. I wound up paying for her bills and got everything cleared up. Now, I'm looking into buying a home (since I have finally conceeded that getting another job in Europe is probably not an option) and pulled my credit report again. Now, I have some mysterious outstanding collections for bills I don't recognize. Sigh. Back to the phone menus.
