All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

Ovid, the famous psychic

Ovid on 2006-01-12T21:14:55

On the off chance that you have my phone number, you'll note that my voicemail message states "This is Ovid, the famous psychic. I know what you want, so hang up."

You'd be astonished at how many people have hung up without leaving a message only to later be surprised when I call them back (I'm not making this up. The joys of caller ID). However, I realize that in order to prove that I am a psychic I need to make predictions, so here are my mine for 2006.

  1. When "Perl Hacks" is published, it will be front-paged on /.
  2. Someone on that forum will claim the title is redundant (or something along those lines).
  3. That comment will be modded +5, Funny.¹

1. Because somehow, geeks think jokes are funnier after the 2,173rd time they're told. Personally, I find that repeating the same joke over and over just gives me bell tower/deer rifle fantasies. Let's just keep this between us, though. I wouldn't want Homeland Security to get confused and and pay me a visit (do you think they chose "Homeland" because "Fatherland" was already used?)

Dirty Slashdot Secrets

chromatic on 2006-01-12T21:27:41

When the aliens come, OSTG will save themselves by offering up the posters and moderators of such comments for involuntary sterilization.

I tell myself that to sleep at night.

Re:Dirty Slashdot Secrets

ziggy on 2006-01-12T22:02:02

What happens if the aliens are zombies, and came to Earth in search of Brains?

Re:Dirty Slashdot Secrets

sigzero on 2006-01-12T22:22:49

Okay, think about that statement. Are they likely to come to "Earth" in search of brains? I think not.

Re:Dirty Slashdot Secrets

Ovid on 2006-01-12T22:43:57

They'll want my brain. It's pre-stewed.

Re:Dirty Slashdot Secrets

sigzero on 2006-01-13T01:25:31

And after reading the HOP book mine is fried! : )

Unfunny bone

cbrandtbuffalo on 2006-01-13T17:30:51

Slashdot readers aren't the only ones with an unfunny bone. Apparently Scott Adams has to deal with these folks too:

http://dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20060102.html

Hmm, maybe it's the same people...

Re:Unfunny bone

pudge on 2006-01-26T04:04:20

My dad recently came to know Scott Adams. He married a woman who works at the tennis club my dad goes to, or something. Adams gave my dad an autographed calendar recently when my dad tried, and failed, to get one during the recent Christmas party (one of those where you can keep trading gifts). I hope my dad didn't make that suggestion. :-)

But yeah, we've posted stories out of peer pressure on Slashdot. Sometimes you just want to do it to get people to stop submitting it.