The Day The Routers Died

Aristotle on 2007-10-28T11:04:52

Written for and performed at the RIPE 55 Secret Working Group Session, by Gary Feldman [YouTube]:

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
when my laptop could connect elsewhere
And I tell you all there was a day
the network card I threw away
had a purpose and it worked for you and me

But 18 years completely wasted
with each address we’ve aggregated
the tables overflowing
the traffic just stopped flowing

And now we’re bearing all the scars
and all my traceroutes showing stars
The packets would travel faster in cars
the day the routers died

Chorus (ALL!!!!!):
So bye bye, folks at RIPE 55
Be persuaded to upgrade it or your network will die
IPv6 just makes me let out a sigh
But I suppose we better give it a try
I suppose we better give it a try

Now did you write an RFC
that dictated how it all should be
Did we listen like we should that day
Now were you back at RIPE 54
where we heard the same things months before
and the people knew they’d have to change their ways

And we knew that all the ISPs
could be future proofed for centuries
but that was then not now
Spent too much time playing WoW

Oh there was time we sat on IRC
making jokes on how this day would be
Now there’s no more use for TCP
the day the routers died

Chorus (chime in now):
So bye bye, folks at RIPE 55
Be persuaded to upgrade it or your network will die
IPv6 just makes me let out a sigh
But I suppose we better give it a try
I suppose we better give it a try

I remember those old days I mourn
sitting in my room, downloading porn
Yeah that’s how it used to be

When the packets flowed from A to B
via routers that could talk IP
there was data that could be exchanged between you and me

Oh but I could see you all ignore
the fact we’d fill up IPv4
but we all lost the nerve
and we got what we deserved

And while we threw our network kit away
and wished we’d heard the things they say
Put all our lives in disarray
the day the routers died

Chorus (those silent will be shot):
So bye bye, folks at RIPE 55
Be persuaded to upgrade it or your network will die
IPv6 just makes me let out a sigh
But I suppose we better give it a try
I suppose we better give it a try

Saw a man with whom I used to peer
asked him to rescue my career
He just sighed and turned away

I went down to the net cafe
that I used to visit everyday
but the man there said I might as well just leave

And now we’ve all lost our purpose
My Cisco share’s completely worthless
No future meetings for me
at the Hotel Krasnapolsky

And the men that make us push and push
like Geoff Huston and Randy Bush
Should’ve listened to what they told us
the day the routers died

And we’re singing:

Chorus (time to lose your voice):
So bye bye, folks at RIPE 55
Be persuaded to upgrade it or your network will die
IPv6 just makes me let out a sigh
But I suppose we better give it a try